“Don’t pray for patience!” I’ll never forget the day my childhood friend gave me this stern warning. Her eyes widened with passion and childlike faith as she continued, “My pastor said you’re not supposed to!” My first reaction was confusion: patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). We pray for love and joy and peace… so why was patience off-limits?

I later learned that this pastor warned his congregation not to pray for patience because that prayer usually leads to situations where your patience is tested. Who in their right mind would pray a prayer that would result in some sort of trial that might make you suffer from discomfort or even pain?!

Now that I’m older, I realize the pastor was probably joking when he made this warning. However, at the time my friend and I thought he was serious. Perhaps due to a miscommunication, several of my (now adult) friends have grown up believing that Christians are not supposed to pray for patience. They have also been subjected to prosperity gospel that teaches that Jesus died so we could live happy and comfortable lives. If you’re reading this right now and you believe those statements are true, please hear me when I say they are lies. 

God’s Word is Truth (John 17:17) and the devil is the father of lies (John 8:44), so let’s go to scripture to discern whether or not those two underlined statements above are true or not. 

The book of James was written to an audience that was experiencing some type of suffering. Stop for a moment and picture this: somebody close to you is suffering. This could be mental, physical, or emotional suffering. What would you say to this person?

Typically in our culture, our goal is for those we love to be happy and healthy. Therefore, in response to the sufferings of a friend, we would try to do or say whatever might ease his/her pain to make him/her happy and healthy once again. “This, too, shall pass,” is often spoken softly with a gentle pat on the back as a kind reminder that the end of their pain is in sight. 

However, James takes a different approach. He speaks very directly in the first chapter of his epistle and commands his siblings in the faith: 

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds…” James 1:2

So what are his suffering loved ones supposed to do? Count it all joy. Be joyful. Rejoice. 

But how can I have joy when I’m suffering? 

Look at Paul. While he was in prison, he wrote to the church and encouraged them to rejoice in all circumstances! (Philippians 4:4) So what was Paul’s secret to joy in the midst of seemingly hopeless trials? He shares this secret in one of the most misquoted pieces of scripture: Philippians 4:12-13:

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” ‭‭

Here Paul shares that Jesus gives him the strength to have joy whether he is hungry and in need, or if he has plenty and is full! Whether we are suffering in the valley or celebrating on the mountain, Jesus’s goodness stays the same and His worthiness remains. So Paul boasts in his weakness because that’s where Jesus has the opportunity to demonstrate His divine strength! (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Let’s go back to the passage in James. After he commands his brothers to count their trials as joy, he explains: 

“…for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” James 1:3

Other translations say that the testing of faith produces patience or endurance. In other words, as you face suffering and pain and discomfort (but you endure with the unexplainable joy that only Jesus provides), patience begins to develop within you. This is nothing we do of our own strength; Holy Spirit produces the fruit and, as we grow, we bare His fruit. 

Why do we want the fruit of the Spirit in our lives? One reason is that Jesus says in Matthew 7 that people will be known by their fruits. If you bare the fruit of the Spirit, it’s a testament that Holy Spirit lives inside you. If you bare the fruit of the world, you need to realign, humble yourself, and repent to allow Him to have His way in you. 

Not only that, but James continues to give a reason for us to desire this patience:

“And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:4

As you grow and pray for the Lord to strengthen you to persevere through trials, you will be more conformed to the image of Christ. This verse hints back to Psalm 23, where the David wrote:

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.”‭‭ Psalms‬ ‭23:1‬

On the rare occasion that I watch TV, I always mute the commercials. It aggravates me so much that every spare second of advertisements are covered by loud actors, noisy music, and obnoxious colors to try to grab my attention and make me want their product. It makes me sad when children watch eagerly and then turn to their parents after every toy commercial to exclaim, “I want that! Can I have that?”

How often do we teach our kids – or teach ourselves – the importance of being content? David said that because our God is his Shepherd, he does not want. This means he is content and joyful with what he has. He does not lack. This same contentment is the one that Paul found and clung to during his imprisonment. He also wrote that godliness with this contentment is great gain (1 Timothy 6:6). 

So why? Why is this relevant? Why should you pray for patience? Why should you embrace the opportunity to suffer? Why should you be joyful in suffering? Why should you be content in all circumstances?

Because this is what it looks like when you finally see God for who He is. When you gaze upon His glory and taste His goodness, His impassable worth makes everything else fade in comparison. 

When you know God, when you really know Him, you find that all you want is more of Him. 

David phrases it this way: 

“One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple.” ‭Psalms‬ ‭27:4‬ 

So go ahead. Pray for patience. And when the trials come, your joy will not be shaken. And when the patience is produced in your heart, you will see that you don’t lack anything. And when all you’re guaranteed is the presence of the Living God, you’ll see that He is all you’ve ever needed in the first place. 

Then pray for more of Him, and cling to Him until He is your heart’s sole desire, in all circumstances. That is what our God truly deserves. 

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus | Look full in His wonderful face | And the things of earth will grow strangely dim | In the light of His glory and grace.”