My dear friend, I do not wish to throw condemnation, shame, or unworthiness on you. I do not wish to communicate that something is wrong with you, you do not deserve love, or you will never find the peace and joy you are looking for.

Quite the contrary, actually.

I want to point you to the One who restores all of those things, who heals all of those wounds.

In my previous post I referred to Him as The Only, but for the sake of simplicity and coherence I will just say Abba in this post. Abba (which means Father) is the Judeo-Christian God.

You see, many readers did not understand the picture I was trying to paint in my last post. Their attentions were diverted (by the accuser, no doubt) to other arguments or points or facts or opinions. Offense was taken where it was not intended. Now, I would like to try, through grace, to clearly communicate the point of my original post.

We have all missed the best. Abba has a beautiful and full plan in mind for each of us, and every single one of us has chosen something less.

You have. I have.

You do. I do.

Though, I feel that the LGBTQ community’s second-best decisions are more on display than everyone else’s. What I mean is that Abba’s best plan for marriage and sex is simple: one man, one woman. People in the LGBTQ community more publicly choose something other than the best. (Please note I am not talking about love; I am talking about marriage and sex. I will discuss love after I address this first point.)

The illustration I was trying to draw in my last post was that other people outside of the LGBTQ community also choose less than the best. The examples I used were pedophilia, bestiality, necrophilia, and premarital sex. A lot of the feedback I got was about why, according to science or psychology or opinion or culture, pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia are *not okay* because of the factor of consent (and thus, homosexuality and premarital sex are okay because of consent).

Consent is not the point. Abba’s best plan is the point.

Pedophilia is not His best. Bestiality is not His best. Necrophilia is not His best. Premarital sex is not His best. And homosexuality is not His best. (That was the truth I was trying to point to.)

Two of those examples incorporate consent between both parties (homosexuality and premarital sex). But none of the five examples are the best simply because they are not one woman married to one man.

(Side note: consent is an important factor and sometimes doesn’t exist even inside a heterosexual marriage – I get that. So consent is part of the details for His best. Right now, though, I am addressing the foundation upon which we choose His best for marriage and sex.)

So, in an attempt to clearly state what I am addressing, I will repeat:

People within the LGBTQ community are not choosing Abba’s best for marriage and sex.

However, I think it is equally as important to clarify:

Nobody always chooses Abba’s best.

I think it is unfair that the LGBTQ community’s spiritual battle is so visible to others, especially because other people (and often the Church) respond to their spiritual battle with condemnation, hatred, and judgment. If you know Abba’s heart, you know that this type of response is wrong.

We are all (whether you realize or not) in the middle of a spiritual battle, and we all struggle with choosing Abba’s best every time.

Unfortunately, the majority of our struggles are not on display for all to see. When a girl gives into the temptation of lust at 1 a.m. and looks at pornography on her phone, it doesn’t get posted on Facebook for everybody to know. When a guy fantasizes about a beautiful girl who walks past him and his wife, no announcement is made on the front page of the paper. When a mother verbally abuses her child because he clumsily made a mess, it isn’t publicized on the news.

I’ve been wrestling with this concept for a while. Since I’m not a part of the LGBTQ community, my sin is secret. My struggles are private. My weaknesses are only made known if I want them to be. I can make it look and sound like I am always choosing Abba’s best for me – even though I’m definitely not. Recently I’ve given my heart over to idolizing marriage, simmering in discontent, striving for control, and sitting in selfishness. You won’t see any of that posted in my bio on Instagram, but it is still me sinning!

I’m not sure what the solution could be for this lack of transparency. If we could all see each other’s “less-than choices” (when we choose something less than Abba’s best), we would have a more realistic view of our neighbor. Maybe we would spew less hatred and judgment on those whose less-than choices are more obvious. The Bible even says, “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).

We all make less-than choices.

Why? Because the ruler of this present darkness lies and deceives us into believing that our less-than choices are better than Abba’s plans. (People who are being deceived do not know that they are being deceived.)

That’s why I felt like these two blog posts were necessary. We need to be reminded that we all need Abba’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness. The good news is that He offers it to whoever wants it! I know I’m thankful for it. (If you’re curious about how to access this grace, mercy, or forgiveness, I’d love to talk with you about it!)

So what should the Church (people who say they follow Jesus) do? Embrace sin and less-than choices? Start preaching that having sex with the same gender is okay in Abba’s eyes? Stand at the courthouse and say that Abba loves divorce? Encourage people to lie, steal, and cheat, because grace is available? No way!

If a person is following Jesus and making a less-than choice, it is our job to lovingly pray for them and bring to their attention that they are not choosing Abba’s best. Our love for them should continue. We should not hold their sin against them. We should speak life and truth into them, and encourage them to look into Jesus’s eyes.

To those who are not yet following Jesus the Church should extend a welcome – to all sorts of people struggling with all sorts of less-than choices. We should love, forgive, and point to Jesus. He is the One who loves us despite our constant battle with less-than choices! We should turn their attention to the cross and explain that that is what Love looks like. We should emphasize the importance of repentance and salvation. We should teach about how, after we follow Jesus, our sins (and less-than choices) no longer set the course for where we go after we die because Jesus got what we deserved. Ultimately, the choice to be saved is in their hands. Condemning, hating, and judging those who have not believed in Jesus is not going to bring them any closer to the cross.

But there is a place of eternal punishment for people who continue choosing less than Abba’s best, if they don’t choose His mercy, grace, and forgiveness that He paid for with Jesus’s blood.

That’s why we can’t stay quiet. I don’t want anybody to choose eternal death rather than eternal life. I want you to choose Jesus! Choose Abba! Choose the best. Choose Abba’s best plans, too, for the abundant life. That entails so much (He has plans for everything!). I could go on and on.

The last thing I want to address is something I mentioned briefly earlier: love.

Love has been the mirage of a banner over the LGBTQ movement. I also received a lot of feedback about how lots of members of the LGBTQ community demonstrate the kind of love described in 1 Corinthians 13. That’s great. I just want to point out one thing:

Love is not sin. Love is not a less-than choice.

Marriage and sex outside of Abba’s plan, however, is.

Homosociality is not sin or a less-than choice.

Homosexuality, however, is.

An example found in scripture is David’s relationship with Jonathan. Documentation of this starts in 1 Samuel 18. The Bible says, “…the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (v. 1). Over the next several chapters I was amazed at the depth of this friendship. Jonathan was a loyal and selfless friend who loved David. David even says that Jonathan’s love was better than the love of women (2 Samuel 1:26).

I don’t know of a more inspiring story of friendship than the one of these two men. Jonathan gave up his biological claim to the throne and supported David because it was so clear that God’s hand and anointing was for David. Jonathan helped hide and save David from the murderous rage Saul felt. He demonstrated love in action!

The love between Jonathan and David was not sin, was not a less-than choice. Had their relationship shifted into a sexual one, however, it would have been.

But David was a man after God’s heart. His love for Jonathan was pure, and I think it’s a good picture of the brotherly love that is supposed to exist between all brothers and sisters who follow Jesus.

Love is a good thing!

So, to wrap this all up: Abba is love, and He has the best plans for us. We all struggle with making less-than decisions, but what matters is what happens afterwards.

Do we justify ourselves and say “This is just the way I am; I was born this way. I am going to be stuck in this forever, so why try to fight it?”?

Or do we turn back to Abba and say, “Father, I made a choice that was less than Your best. I am truly sorry. I want to choose Your best. Help me to be like You. Help me see myself the way You see me. Lead me deeper into Your heart and Your love. Be my portion. I know You are all I need, but sometimes I believe the lie that other people or things will satisfy me. Guide me into Your truth”?

I want to encourage you today to choose the latter. It is similar to when Moses presented the option to the Israelites. He said, “I have set before you today life and good, death and evil… therefore choose life” (Deuteronomy 30:15-19).

• • •

In anticipation of a particular response, I want to add that the world can list excuses and justifications for why a less-than decision is morally okay or should be legal, etc.

I want to encourage you to have a heavenly perspective! If you suffer from seizures, the world will quickly say, “We understand this condition: it’s called ‘epilepsy.’ Here is your medication.” However, if you come to Jesus He can simply say, “I understand this condition: it’s the mark of the enemy. My good plan is health. Be healed!”

Don’t let the world set your standard for what is right, normal, or okay. Let the King of kings define that for you! Ask Him what His best plans are. 10/10 His wisdom supersedes the wisdom of the world.