He’s in the Waiting

I love singing. It’s on my list of hobbies. I pride myself in my ability to turn any situation into a song, and bashfully claim that this super power of mine is proof that I’m ready to be a mom. (Because doesn’t every mom turn everything into a song?)

I’m finding the joy of discovering that the passions in my heart are there because my Abba put them there when He created me. He loves to sing (Zephaniah 3:17). I love to sing. He loves to hear me sing. So it’s one of our things, ya know? He will wake me up with the lyrics to a song, and those lyrics contain a message He is communicating just to me in that moment. I love it. He makes me feel so special.

Usually I welcome – and sometimes yearn – for these musical moments with my God. However, at the beginning of this year this was not the case. You see, I was going through a season of transitioning, learning, and healing. God was calling me to a different type of waiting season than He has called me to in the past. (Y’all, I know I talk about the waiting season so much on here, but it’s my life.)

As such, this call to wait was accompanied by a song that the Lord surrounded me with called “Take Courage” by Bethel Music. See if you can read through the lyrics and figure out what message God was trying to communicate to me:

Slow down, take time, breathe in | He said He’d reveal what’s to come | The thoughts in His mind, always higher than mine | He’ll reveal all to come | Take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul | He’s in the waiting, He’s in the waiting | Hold onto your hope as your triumph unfolds | He’s never failing, He’s never failing | Sing praise my soul, find strength in joy | Let His Words lead you on | Do not forget His great faithfulness | He’ll finish all He’s begun | And You who hold the stars | Who call them each by name | Will surely keep Your promise to me | That I will rise in Your victory

The message He was trying to communicate is clear to me now: Trust Me. I love you. I have good plans in store for you. Hold My hand. Believe My promises. This season is going to be wonderful.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe what God is saying about a season because we think we know best. I’m so thankful He is the one with perfect knowledge and wisdom (and patience). And I’m glad Jesus is the King on the throne of my heart and the Lord of my life. He is more than worthy of those roles.

Despite all this, it was difficult to hear God say He was taking me through another waiting season. I didn’t care why. I knew what I wanted out of life, and waiting simply wasn’t going to get me there any time soon.

Still, I waited. From January to now. I struggled. I cried. I found territories of my heart that are still in bondage to the kingdom of darkness. I found ugliness. This was quite a messy season.

However, I also found some color. Some sunshine. Some peace. Some victory. I looked around at my community and found love. I looked at my Friend and found patience and grace. These people have seriously loved me like Jesus. I found thankfulness, the cure for regret. I rediscovered my passion for taking care of children. I cooked edible but not-so-tasty food and super delicious comfort food. I opened my heart and then closed it, over and over again. I stayed up all night in the presence of my Savior. I was romanced by the Lover of my soul. I dreamed with Abba. I changed my diet and fell in love with honey coconut chips. I laid on a blanket in the sun many times. I started taking multivitamins. I procrastinated and accomplished goals. I talked with friends and family. I read books and practiced the ukulele (without a pick!). I wrote letters. I temporarily parented a kitten. I became a regular at a local coffee shop. I cried. I traveled. I found beauty. I cried. I smiled on a blanket in the park. I painted. I cried. I learned. I grew. I was challenged. I became more secure in my beliefs. I changed some of my beliefs to conform to truth. I fell in love with Jesus and with a Friend. I saw jellyfish. I made decisions based in fear. I laughed and laughed and laughed. I had a bad attitude. I asked for forgiveness. I was forgiven. I decided my favorite flowers are honeysuckles and pink jasmines. I let my bangs grow out. I searched and searched for wisdom and truth. I danced. And through it all, I kept singing. Sad songs, love songs, and songs about my good God. He sang over me through it all, too. And He taught me to trust the discernment He has gifted me with.

Now that this season is coming to a close, Jesus is inviting me into something new. He is holding out His hand and whispering, “Come away with Me.” He is asking me to rest. To sit at His feet. To learn what it means to know my identity. To reside in Truth. To love myself and to let others love me back.

I don’t know what it will look like or how long it will last. But I do know that my soul is sighing deeply. Rest is due. My song is changing. Now I can hear Him singing over me a new song, and it goes like this: